Bits of Being

thoughts on life, faith, family….and, yes, just learning to "be"

Setting New Year’s Graces (not Goals) for 2024

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Every New Year’s Day for years, we have gathered as a family around our dining room table. Someone goes to a nearby wooden shelf and takes down a vase. They then proceed to pull out pieces of notebook paper with writing on them. Each paper goes to the person whose handwriting is recognized on the page. We then take turns reading what we wrote exactly one year ago to the day. We laugh as we think of what we were looking forward to then that is now far behind us. We cringe as we read a goal that was never carried through. We pat ourselves on the back when we reflect on a success. When we’re finished reading, we throw those pieces of paper away, and distribute blank pages and colorful pens. We each proceed to write down new goals, as well as what we are looking forward to in the year ahead. We then share our lists, fold up our pieces of paper, and put them in the vase to wait until they are revealed the following year. This practice is changing as some of our daughters have families of their own now. But this year, my husband and I still shared this time with our youngest daughter, home from college, and now our papers are tucked back in the vase, collecting dust until next year. It has been a meaningful and fun exercise for us to do together, but I do know that it has its limitations. While some goals are accomplished, others are completely ignored, some are given up on after a short period of time, and others are crowded out by life’s busyness. Despite our best intentions, goals always seem to carry a measure of guilt with them. So, while my goals for this year are still sitting on my shelf, I also want to give myself permission to turn my goals into graces this year. What are graces? I’m going to define graces as effortless permissions, permissions that bring ease and beauty and respite to life.

So, here are my 10 Graces for 2024: 

  1. I give myself the grace of joy. The grace to find something of joy in each day. Perhaps it will be a walk down a tree-lined path or a conversation over a mocha latte or a favorite song heard in the car on my way to work. Joy. 
  2. I give myself the grace of prayer. The grace to let prayer be just a natural part of life. Perhaps it will be an extra breath taken when my gaze finds a beautiful flower or showing kindness to a stranger pushing their way in front of me at the grocery store or a thought whispered from the heart as I wash my dishes. Prayer.
  3. I give myself the grace of uninhibition. The grace to not fear other’s reactions and opinions. Perhaps it will be the ability to express my heart in writing or the freedom to sing soulfully instead of perfectly or the spontaneity to dance when my spirit feels the music. Uninhibition.
  4. I give myself the grace of acceptance. The grace to love my body and my whole self for who I am. Perhaps it will be choosing the healthy option or appreciating the smile wrinkles or easing the pains with a half hour of yoga. Acceptance
  5. I give myself the grace of rest. The grace to know that rest is just as important as work. Perhaps it will be finding that moment in the middle of the afternoon to put my feet up or not feeling guilty about saying no or taking that vacation in the midst of a busy season. Rest. 
  6. I give myself the grace of contentment. The grace to be satisfied with where I am without wanting more. Perhaps it will be finding fulfillment in my current job or taking a sabbatical from buying or looking at my home with eyes of appreciation. Contentment. 
  7. I give myself the grace of neediness. The grace to be okay with being one of the disadvantaged ones. Perhaps it will be feeling untroubled when I am misunderstood or not being defensive when criticized or accepting an offering of help. Neediness.
  8. I give myself the grace of sadness. The grace to know it’s okay to be sad and to realize that part of life’s journey is walking through the darknesses. This could look like grieving for days gone by way too quickly or finding solace in the unknowns of the future or letting myself just be held by the One who made me. Sadness. 
  9. I give myself the grace of spontaneity. The grace to not have to plan but to “go with the flow.” Perhaps it will be accepting a last-minute change of plans or not having any plans to begin with or not taking on more than I can handle to leave room for the unexpected.  Spontaneity.
  10. I give myself the grace of love. The grace to love and be loved. Perhaps it will be doing a small kindness that is never noticed or accepting the hug of a child or laying down my privilege to suffer with another. Love. 

May 2024 be a grace-filled year!!

4 responses to “Setting New Year’s Graces (not Goals) for 2024”

  1. Diane Gum Avatar
    Diane Gum

    These are all graces we all need to take up! Thank you for writing them down and sharing them with us! I like the idea of graces over goals!

  2. Sandra Kay Avatar
    Sandra Kay

    Thanks, Diane!

  3. Beverly Miller Avatar
    Beverly Miller

    Thankyou so much for this blog on grace. I really needed this and I really want to focus more on grace in the coming year. I do not find the ability to accept grace for myself. I struggle so much and I want to change because I believe it will help me to extend grace to others more freely. Thank you again and God bless you richly in sharing this and all the others. I enjoy reading them.

  4. Sandra Kay Avatar
    Sandra Kay

    Thank you, Beverly! I struggle with accepting grace also. I think we find it too good to be true, and so it’s easier to believe in our own sense of fairness / our own sense of right and wrong instead of truly believing in the love-saturated grace of God. May the unconditional love and grace of God fill you this year!

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