It is the season of thanksgiving. Many use this time of year to reflect on the many things that are good in their lives. Many give thanks to God for all the blessings they have. This can be a very healthy practice, and one which I’ve tried to implement. But I’ve also seen some attitudes slip into my thankfulness from time to time that I do not consider healthy. When my gratitude is separated from grace, it can become self-centered and self-righteous. So, this season, I’m asking myself, am I being faithful to God in my gratitude?
I know gratitude and thankfulness are usually used interchangeably. But, for my purposes today, I’d like to make a distinction between the two. The definition of thankfulness in the New Oxford American Dictionary is pleased and relieved. The definition of gratitude is readiness to show appreciation and return kindness. I see a big difference in these two definitions. Thankfulness is self-centered in that it is pleased with itself and relieved not to be like others. Gratitude is appreciative of the little it has and wants to pass on the gifts it has received. In other words, thankfulness is thoughtless but gratitude is full of grace. (Note: I’m not saying you cannot use thankfulness in a positive way; it is only for my purposes in writing this article that I am using it in this negative way.)
“God, thank you that I’m not like that sinner over there. Thank you that you saved me from being like “them. Thank you that I am righteous.” Do you remember that parable that Jesus told in Luke 18? The Pharisee who said these words was thankful. But his thankfulness did nothing more than puff himself up. Have I let my thankfulness give me an attitude of superiority? Have I let my thankfulness put others down?
To keep this attitude out of my heart, I need to realize that the gifts I’ve been given may be random and are largely undeserved. The gracious gifts I have in life are not mine because I am a better person than that person over there. No, the gracious gifts I have in life are because I am a part of Life, the Life that connects us all. And these gracious gifts are given to me so that I can share these good things with those around me.
So instead of saying, “God, thank you that I have worked so hard and earned a place at Your table,” I can say, “God, thank you for this undeserved grace that has fallen into my lap that I can now share with others.” And instead of saying, “Thank you, God, that I was born into this white American Christian family that is so deserving of privileges and power,” I can say, “Thank you, God, that I have this platform that I can use to stand up for those who lack the privileges life has thrown my way.”
Thankfulness can also be misused to deny reality. Sometimes I don’t want to face the difficult things of life, so I close my eyes to reality and pretend everything is just fine, and give thanks for that. This ignores the pain that may be in my life or in the lives of others, which is so important to acknowledge in order to start moving toward healing . Of course, I can go to the other extreme also, and give thanks for horrible things that are happening, pretending I’m happy about them when I’m not. This is not beneficial either. 1 Thessalonians 5:18 tells us to be thankful IN all circumstances, not that we need to be thankful FOR all circumstances. I don’t need to be thankful for tragedy, but I can find small things to be grateful for in the midst of tragedy, even if it’s only the ability to breathe. Of course, the Beatitudes in Matthew 5 do show us that poverty and mourning and longing and persecution are blessings. Sometimes things we think are blessings are not and things we don’t think are blessings really are. So maybe it is more true to faith to show gratitude for the things in our lives that are drawing us closer to God, as difficult as they may be. This may be a more faithful gratitude than just giving thanks for all that we think is “right” in our lives.
There’s another story in Luke 17 about ten lepers who were healed by Jesus, and only one returned to Jesus to show his gratitude. I think perhaps the others thought they deserved it. Maybe some of them flippantly called out a quick “thank you” to Jesus before going on their merry way. But none were truly grateful except the Samaritan who returned. Notice, this man was a Samaritan. A Samaritan was an outcast, one whom others rejected. He was not a true Jew, not one of them. I think he knew he didn’t deserve this gift. This healing only humbled him, so he returned to Jesus in true humility to show his gratitude. This man who didn’t believe the “right” doctrines and was regarded by some as a heretic was the only one praised by Jesus because he was the only one humble enough to acknowledge and appreciate the undeserved work of God in his life.
So today, Thanksgiving of 2025, I don’t want to flippantly say “thank you,” but I want to truly show the grace of gratitude. I want to open my eyes to God’s real gifts, and not use thankfulness to deny awful things happening in the world today . I want to hold loosely what I have been given and not let thankfulness make me cling all the tighter. I want to remember the gifts I have are for giving away and not for passing judgment. May my thankfulness today not make me more proud, but may the grace of gratitude keep me humble, knowing none of this is what I deserve but it is only given in order to be given away again. And for all of this, I am exceedingly grateful.
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